what [not] to say

This morning I was accosted by two Mormon missionaries. After beating me senseless and taking my wallet, they wanted to talk about Jesus Christ. I indulged them, partially because I don't think many in Lakeview would be at all sympathetic. It was my act of charity for the week.

In hindsight, this is what I would have liked to add to the discussion:

• Jesus who?
• Have you ever seen that one South Park?
• I just read this thing about Mormon men coming back from there mission and thinking they're gay because they haven't had any real contact with women for 2 years. (Now if I could only remember where I read that.)
• Is there a form that I can fill out to request NOT being converted after I'm dead?
• Do you have an answer for everything?
• I don't even discuss my beliefs with close friends and family; where do you get off thinking I'll discuss them with you?

But they're such nice people. Yes, but nice people become the cogs in the machine run by people who know what they want and aren't afraid to crush a couple egos to get it.