red bike luv

I have my red bike at my disposal and have been riding with it back and forth to downtown along Chicago's incomparable lakefront bike path. This is the first bike I bought as an adult from Working Bikes back in 2002. I took it with me to grad school, riding it around Iowa City, and then riding it across Iowa state. When I rode it on RAGBRAI, it was still a 10-speed. At some point after getting back to Chicago, I got doored and bent the right crank. After replacing it, the bike was left a 5-speed. Really, in Chicago, you hardly need gears at all. So, at some point, I converted it to a fixed-gear by replacing the wheels, the crankset, and the chain.

In the history of bikes, fixed gears came right after pennyfarthings, the latter not really being a "geared" bike at all having no chain.

Wikipedia: "the 1870s saw the development of the "safety bicycle" which roughly resembles bicycles today, with two wheels of equal size, initially with solid rubber tyres. These were typically equipped with a front spoon brake and no rear brake mechanism, but like penny-farthings they used fixed gears, allowing rear wheel braking by resisting the motion of the pedals."

This is pretty much exactly like my bike. It's so über-retro. The 80s are totally in these days, but my bike goes back a hundred years earlier. So it's like way even cooler than that.

[Ok, so I don't ride my bike because it's cool. Or, at least I don't love it because it's cool.]

When I started riding fixed, I mostly wanted to see what the fuss was about. Now I'm here to tell you what the fuss is about. It's about symbiosis as opposed to domination, analog versus digital. When the bike is in motion, you are in motion. There is no coasting, so there is no lazing around while the bike does all the work. Starting is work, stopping is work. Maintaining speed is the path of least resistance, for you can let your legs go somewhat limp and just let them follow the flow of the pedals. It helps to have your feet clipped in to the pedals. It encourages you to try to maintain a constant speed, for that requires the least work. So instead of stopping at red lights, I slow down way before and try to time them. If I fail, I can always practice my trackstand, which makes me look so super-ridiculous-cooler-than-thou. When I'm riding fixed, I never really stop, I just slow way down, like approaching zero Kelvin.

Most of that is just surface details or ex post facto rationalizations of my irrational feelings of joy riding my bike. It's all about going super fast while staying in control. Riding in traffic, I don't go quite as fast because I really can't stop as easily as on a "modern" bike. (I do, however, have a brake on the front wheel for emergencies.) Riding on the path, I can go faster but still keep it under 20 because you never know what kind of idiots are out there. Yesterday, it was super crowded and I had to do some fancy maneuvering. It was pleasing to blow by the plump yuppies on multi-thousand-dollar carbon fiber road bikes with their girth restricted by spandex. Bikes are not symbols of status but symbols of freedom.

I would hate for my expensive 1000-dollar racing bike to get the wrong idea. I love her too. When it comes to bikes, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool polyamorist like this guy. [This is Oberon holding the scull of a unicorn he made by fusing the horns of a goat into one. Judging by what is left of the unicorn, he did so for sexual purposes. I saw him speak once at the Occult bookstore thanks to she-who-was-called "pirate girl".] The bikes are just different riding experiences: the road bike is about the goal, the destination; the fixie is about the journey. Any way you want it, that's the way you need it.

I'm staying in Chicago for the next few days to: teach a piano lesson, give a bike tour, review a concert at the symphony. Apparently, everyone who is anyone will be at the symphony on Thursday: synchronicity. And then Friday to Détroit pour les obsèques.

Merci d'avoir lu jusqu'au bout. Que des conneries que j'ai racontées au jourd'hui. Tant pis.