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I've gotten a little lax in the last two days, yesterday waking up late and doing a fair amount of working but ultimately playing more than working. It's always a mix, but the key concept I'm concentrating on today is "discernment". Per a suggestion from my conversation with the medical intuitive the other day, I am too open to whatever possibilities come my way, whether they be styles of music to write or people to meet. Be more discerning. I then told her about my concept of "say no to say yes," which seemed exactly like what she was talking about.

So I did have coffee today, but I used it as an incentive to get out of bed before 9 (Michigan time). [This should make Laura nostalgic; I'm sure she's missed the presence of coffee in our recent conversations.]

I'm realizing that I have a decent amount of ideas, but I should spend more time organizing them. I did that a little yesterday, going through my files that I've created up here and storing the fragments of ideas in one folder, the more completed, useable ideas in another. Keeping files organized is helpful for both computers and memories.

I need more songs to cover. I've already got the usual Radiohead, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Smiths, Daft Punk. It's funny, for as much as I liked Jethro Tull when I was in high school, they really weren't saying anything with their songs. Their songs are stories about other people, and they are simply the minstrels telling the story. No, not black face; like old, old minstrels. So while Aqualung is fun to play on the guitar, it's not saying anything I need to say. To be honest, though, the songs I am covering aren't necessarily expressing things I'm feeling now now, but I at least have emotional access to those sentiments through the past.

But the past is gone; this is now now. Whatever is happening now is happening now.


I'm relistening to my remix. I still kind of like it, so I'll make a radio-friendly edit so you can all hear it more easily without sifting through the garbage.

I may give up on the orchestra piece. I can't see it getting accepted to this program taking me to where I want to go. It may be one of those things that I either do later or not at all. I'm honing in on an album - or several - but I think that's where my passions are, probably, too, my "path".

I'm still listening to the remix - it's that long - and although it is not, itself, what I want to spend all my time doing, it certainly helps me to put together the pieces of a sound that I'm looking for. Then, maybe, with the sound in mind, it will be easier to write originals. Which is also, in a way, what I'm doing with the covers. I know a lot about music, but most of it comes from classes and theory; it's nice to learn about it through performance. Especially since I always struggle with the vocal parts of songs - meaning I either omit them or write shitty ones (see "Someone Else").

So a quick teaser of what I'm thinking for the album.
* Embody the Struggle (formerly known as Hypernova Requiem)
* Bike Salute (but completely redone)
* You are part of we (song for sister's baby, Lincoln)
* The electronic thing I did with the guitar solo
* Someone Else (which I apparently took off myspace)
* Some song called now called Suddenly
* A song I started writing about some German girl last year
* A cover. Right now leaning towards Needle in the Hay
* Maybe another cover like How Soon is Now

And probably a couple others. I'm making lots of lists these days.

Oh, an Ableton Live keeps crashing but only when I'm doing certain things. Doing the remix project, it didn't crash at all, but then in some projects it crashes every 5 minutes. Hopefully they get back to me soon.

I amazed that I don't get sick of my computer. I spend most of the daylight hours working on music stuff in front of it, and then at night, I bring it into the living room to sit by the fire and relax. And these days, relaxing means surfing, blogging, twitter, facebook, whatever. Maybe reading. I've been reading Sartre and Thoreau - page by page. And sometimes South Park comes on and I get sucked in. Tonight, Superbad was on, and, just like last week when Borat was on, I tried to get into it but just found it so disappointing. Not funny, not interesting. Granted, I was coming in in the middle. Still.

OK. before you go any further. Click on this and listen in the background. Assuming you have speakers. I'll explain later.

Today, I didn't leave the house and didn't see any people face-to-face in the flesh. I talked to my mom on the phone (Happy Birthday again!) and sent an email. I got a really exciting call from a recorded voice in Spanish telling me that I won a million dollars and that I should press one. I'm such a skeptic. Like today, my cousin invited me to be a part of some Starbucks group on facebook and win a $25 gift certificate. I don't believe it. (And I don't care enough to risk wasting my time.)

I mostly worked on an electronic piece, practicing putting it together live with loops and synths. But this one file keeps crashing. It's not using too much cpu, and I've tried several fixes. It got me down. But then, I switched to working on another file and made it work. I still don't quite know what to do about the other one. Best not to think about it till morning. What you're listening to now is the piece that I did get to work. Playing it in Ableton uses 35% of my CPU power. That's as high as I've gotten so far.



In the between times, I ate some food - nothing special - and imagined my orchestra piece. I got into a discussion about composition a couple of weeks ago with my cohort Amos. His point was that composing at the piano - or the computer - limits your imagination to what you can play. My point is that relying only on your mind's ear limits your imagination to what you've heard before. My new process is to imagine the sounds - where they should be, what instruments, the overall gesture - and then draw them. Nothing specific, just shapes. I get sucked into details way too quickly and forget about things like structure and shape. Then I end up having to tweak all sorts of details in the final "revision" process, which feels more like rewriting. I've never been one to use an outline (as you can tell by this blog) but I think it's time to start learning how with music.

Lastly, thanks for the comments! Both on and off the blog. Sometimes I forget that people are actually reading it. I'm not sure why sometimes; it feels pretty self-indulgent. But every now and then I come up with something interesting.

So you're probably still listening. I'm fairly happy with it: it's not too interesting but not too boring. Good for repetition, good for background. If you haven't gotten to the guitar solo at the end, that's my favorite part.

If it's still going, read this article in the nytimes about people (mostly artists) who live in cold spaces, like 50 degrees or below. It caught my eye because I've been keeping the temp at 58 during the day and 56 at night. I actually tried 55 last night and was plenty warm. I've always had trouble choosing comfort over energy. I'd rather put on multiple layers than use more energy. Now I've got myself trained so that 60 feels warm. Last weekend when I stayed at Darick's, his place was like 75, and I started overheating as soon as I walked in.