resume struggle: engage

Been there, back again. 3 months of adventuring--2 months in Europe and some time in Chicago--and I'm struggling again. This time, struggling to get back on track. The once-clear future has been clouded by months of ignoring it, teasing it, beating it with a stick. The when that mattered was now, but the current now is about then; how do we get there from here?

Europe was not not a struggle. But it was a struggle just to stay afloat, not leaving me time or energy to choose a direction. I'm a good swimmer, but out there in the middle of the ocean, it's hard to pick the right direction. I bobbed around for awhile, letting the currents guide me.

I spent most of August doing bike tours like mad--40 hours a week--and have been making

"bank". It gave me something to do, but I feel like I've been swimming on a treadmill; time to set the ocean in motion.

I have a love-hate relationship with the future. But at least I know it will be better than the past.

I almost started a whole new blog, but I think two will suffice: one for moments of forward momentum, the other for tangential shunts, the one framing the other.

And now a random word of the day: limn